Have you ever been in a situation where someone said yes to something you had proposed and then changed their mind about doing it? Have you ever had people in your life who made a promise to you and then broke it? In my type of business and life, I cross this situation often. Most of the time, I am the kind of person that when I say I will do something, I do it. It is very rare I change my mind. Recently, I experienced a business situation when someone said yes to a project, and then changed their mind twice. When this happened, it frustrated me. The individual in question missed an opportunity to do something important and life transforming for herself and she said she wasn’t able to continue to work on the project. I feel she betrayed herself and me.
I have noticed in North America this type of thing happens often. You tell a family member or a friend that you will come for supper, and then you change your mind at the last minute. You say you will work with an expert, and you change your mind at the last minute. When you do this you betray yourself first, because every time you are not keeping your word to yourself, you show that you do not keep your word to others who are counting on you to be at a certain place or do a certain thing at a certain time. If you do this in business, you make people lose trust in you eventually. And if it is a friend or relative who has prepared a meal for you, and has spent all day doing it, how do you think this person feels when you change your mind at the last minute? How would you feel if someone would do this to you?
What about if you say you will go to a show or another event with a friend or family member, and you change your mind at the last minute? Maybe this person wanted to go to this event with you, or maybe this person wanted to invite someone else, but she/he didn’t because they chose you and wanted to spend time with you. What about if you promised yourself not to tolerate a certain behavior from someone, or you promised to take better care of yourself and then did not follow up with it? When you do that, you are self-sabotaging. You are breaking a promise to yourself. Sometimes you may even lose a great opportunity because of this.
There is also the situation where someone has prepared an event and has paid for the seat, the venue, food and other things. The person has prepared in advance and worked very hard, and you are cancelling at the last minute because you decide you don’t feel like going to the event. This is unacceptable. It may seem flawless and easy when you attend, but there was a lot of work done beforehand. I think it is respectful to arrange your schedule and keep your word.
Finally, here is a last example to illustrate my point. You have an appointment with an expert and you don’t feel like meeting them on that day. You cancel your appointment at the last minute. This expert has reserved that spot for you exclusively. If you let the person know at least twenty-four hours in advance, the expert may be able to fill that spot with another client. Think of when you go to your hairdresser. If you cancel at the last minute, it is hard for them to fill that spot, and they are paid by each person who comes in.
How many times did you promise yourself something and didn’t keep your promise? Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and imagine the consequence if someone would do the same to you. Think about it before changing your mind at the last minute. Do you have a serious reason to cancel, an emergency of some kind, or it is just a decision on a whim? There can be exceptions, things that are urgent or unexpected that happen. In this case, it is understandable to cancel. However, often times people cancel without being aware of the impact it might have on others in certain situations.
I made the decision that I will no longer do any business or surround myself with people who don’t keep their word. Keeping my word is a very important value for me. Before saying yes to something, I make sure I think long and hard before committing. Please take the time to make a decision saying yes to something. Check your schedule carefully to make sure you don’t have anything planned on the date you have committed to. Remember, you disappoint yourself and others when you change your mind. If you are not sure about something don’t commit. Say you will get back to them. Don’t promise or say something you are not sure you can fulfill.
When you keep your word you become reliable, and you attract other people who also keep their word. Other people know they can count on you. Most of all, when you keep your word, you are being true to yourself and doing something good for yourself by keeping promises to yourself. I know that changing this habit is not easy. I personally come from a background where this was a cultural thing to do. My parents taught me to keep my word from a very young age. I knew I couldn’t get away with it. I believe it is a good value to have. None of us are perfect after all. We are all here to learn, and the intention of this blog is to install awareness in you so you can become better at keeping your word. Please take the time to reflect upon it.
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