Have you ever been disappointed by someone close to you, or by something that did not turn out the way you expected it to? Did you accept an offer from someone, or work with a person and things did not go as planned? We’ve all been there before, myself included. That is why today, I want to talk to you about 5 easy ways to get over disappointment.
5 Easy Ways to Get Over Disappointment:
- Don’t set high expectations for yourself or with others: I will tell you a story now, about an old nemesis of mine called “perfectionism”. I am a “recovering perfectionist”. I have had to learn over the years, that I cannot have complete control over all situations in my life. It has not always been easy, but I truly began to be happier when I learned to let go of expectations. I also learned ways to deal with having high expectations by doing one thing: I put myself in 0 EXPECTATION MODE. In most cases this ends up being very effective, as I let things fall where they may. I am able to let go easier too, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If 0 EXPECTATION is too hard, start with LOW EXPECTATION, and gradually let go of things you cannot control. How do you feel when you do this? You will notice feeling lighter and calmer.
By not having any expectations, you allow the Universe to surprise you. You feel detached from the outcome, and go with the flow. When you do that, you feel more emotionally free.
2. Have an inner dialogue with yourself: I love writing, and the release I get when I put words on paper. I do a lot of journaling, and this helps me get my feelings out, and connect to my Higher Self and Being. So many amazing things have come to me after journaling. If writing is not your thing, however, you can also find a close family member or friend to talk to. They will need to be good listeners and non-judgmental, so that you could confide in them about anything.
When you have an inner dialogue, you are actually talking to your suffering self- the part of you that is hurt. You are talking to your inner child, and encouraging him or her. Having an inner dialogue with yourself helps you release the pain of disappointment. Remember, disappointment is only a feeling. It is not who you are. When you write, you connect with a higher level of consciousness that can guide you. Writing also helps you see what you write, then you can read it to yourself and internalize the positive words. It releases the negative feeling, and replaces it with a positive one.
3. Re-evaluate your expectations on a regular basis: Are you perhaps setting extremely high or unreasonable expectations for yourself? If so, examine your feelings about it. What is the life lesson in this? Remember, for every feeling or thought that comes into our minds, there is something we could learn about our behavior.
When a high expectation comes in, you can be aware of it immediately, and alter your behavior accordingly.
4. Are you setting appropriate boundaries for yourself and others in order to avoid disappointment: Are you really thinking about what actions you are taking that can help you be more at peace with yourself and your life? If not, time to start doing this.
For example, if someone has disappointed you several times in the past, you can decide to not have a relationship with that person. You can also avoid the situations you felt disappointed in, or put certain boundaries in place. For instance, I worked with some experts in the past who did not show up to our phone call. It happened more than once. I decided not to do business with people like this ever again. If they don’t show up twice, and don’t even tell me they can’t come, I tell them that I don’t want to do business with them. Sometimes, I just don’t make any other appointments with them. By putting such boundaries in place, you demand respect for yourself, and you will not be disappointed by others. You deserve it.
5. Overcoming and redefining feelings: Now, you are ready for the next step in conquering those old thoughts that made you feel powerless. WRITE A LETTER TO THE EMOTION that is making you feel disappointed. Write in the letter how you feel, read it, once or twice, and then throw it in the garbage.
There is one very important point to keep in mind. It is vital that you make the decision to let go of this feeling before writing. Say out loud:
“I decide and choose to let go of the feeling of disappointment.”
Say it again when you finish the letter, and before you throw it away.
Doing this exercise will help you release this feeling, and some of the blocks that come with it. You will have a sense of relief and freedom in the end. If you read my other blogs or watch my online videos, you know that I find this technique highly effective.
What other actions can you take today to avoid disappointment and deal with your emotions in a better way? You need to remember to have reasonable expectations, not high expectations. Dealing with certain results from specific situations realistically, will help you drop your high expectations, move into 0 EXCEPTIONAL MODE, and disappointment will come rarely. Even if you trust in the wrong person, you will see that you now have the tools to overcome your disappointment.
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